Forgiving Means Freeing Myself

forgivenespic   Forgiveness is EVERYTHING to happiness and a peaceful life.  And yet, forgiveness is so misunderstood.  It is NOT condoning bad behavior.  It is NOT the tolerance/acceptance of actions or words which disrespect us.   It is NOT remaining in places or with people whose behaviors and choices are unsafe for us.  It is NOT swallowing our pain and saying it does not exist.  

Forgiveness is letting go of the pain we carry around over any past event.  Forgiveness is choosing peace for ourselves rather than resentment or fear.  Resentment and fear are very heavy burdens that block our potential, creativity and inner peace.  The choice to forgive is the choice to set ourselves free of all burden so that we may live the life we are designed to live.  We do not know the effects that forgiveness will have upon another person, but that is not our business or the reason why we choose to forgive.  We do it for us that we may put down the heavy load and move on unencumbered.  The effects it has upon another will be their choice.                                                                                                  

It can look extremely justified to remain angry, hurt and afraid after painful events in our life.  And forgiveness does not just apply to one who has wronged us.  We carry much unforgiveness about our own actions and decisions in life.  The state of unforgiveness is a life-killer………… pure and simple.  It weighs us down and blocks the natural flow of life’s good.  This affects not only our inner peace, but surely and eventually it affects our bodies.  Many Spiritualists and Metaphysicians believe that all illness comes from a state of unforgiveness.                                                                                                                                                                                                 

Extremely enlightened people forgive automatically.  They forgive because they do not want to carry around the pain and burden of not forgiving.  Enlightened people can see the circumstance as it truly is and let it inform them while deciding at the same time that they will give it no negative power over them.  They can see that giving it no power is wisdom because they understand that, in Truth, nothing said or done can change or affect their essential worth.  Our Spirit’s are beyond harm – no matter what we’ve done or what someone else has done to us.  Forgiveness is understanding that others may have attempted to do something to us, but it is actually not possible to harm our essential self.                                                                                                                                                

Now, I am far from one of those enlightened ones.  I carry around the pain of many things.  Every time I am frightened because I believe I don’t measure up, there is something I have not let go of/forgiven.  It could be something about myself or a message I took on from the actions of another person.  Every time I am emotionally hurt, there is something I have not yet let go of/forgiven.  Every time I feel the urge to lash out in temper, there is something I’m still carrying that needs letting go of/forgiving.                                                  

I can make the decision today to choose forgiveness for anything I perceive as a wrong done by me or unto me.  But I believe I must first seek help in forgiving that which I still carry from things behind me.  The only things that affect me negatively today are triggers of things that happened before.  I have collected pain from events and people who  intended to harm me, but more insidiously is the unforgiveness  I hold that came from well-meaning people who meant no harm.  The seemingly little thing from which I took on a negative message are the hidden, but no less harmful things I hold.                                   

We need help in learning how to let go and forgive.  We are not very practiced at it.  So we  first we ask for help.  Second we decide to be aware.  In the moment that something feels threatening or mean-spirited or angering, we affirm that it has no real power over us.  We decide to let it bounce off and not penetrate into any part of our mind where it will be held or harbored.                                                                                                                         

THE PRAYER:  Dear Spirit/God,  I want to unburden myself of all pain I carry within me from any past events.  I ask you to help me forgive myself for EVERYTHING(You can list specifics that you are aware of) I ask you to help me forgive EVERYONE for every perceived wrong they committed towards me. (You can list specifics here too) I ask you help me forgive every person, myself, the world for not being all I wanted them to be,  Help me let go of the belief that the past can be any different so that the present is free and unencumbered.  I want forgiveness to be a natural way of being for meI choose to love myself so I ask Your help to make my way unhindered and my walk easier.  Only out of a state of inner peace may this happen.  Thank You for Your help in my choice to set myself free.  AMEN.


About Kathryn Bourquin

Life Coach specializing Meditation Practices and living from a place of Inner Peace. Speaker, Teacher and Writer. Specialties: Healing, Success, Breaking Old Habits, Realizing the Power You Possess, Letting Go of Long-held emotional pain. For an individual appointment in person or via phone or Skype: Go to
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